Ryan and Robert

Ryan and Robert have been together for almost 20 years. They had four dogs, two cats, and a loving home but always felt like something was missing. “That something was a child,” said Ryan. “We wanted to give back. That’s what this experience has been all about.” When Ryan and Robert began pursuing adoption, they were concerned about the way they would be treated as a same-sex couple. This was not an issue at all when working with Adopt America Network. “They were very patient and understanding, especially when I would get frustrated,” said Ryan. Ryan and Robert were matched with Anthony, a 15-year-old boy who had been in foster care for three years. He had moved several times while in the foster care system. When Ryan and Robert went to Texas to meet Anthony for the first time in September 2010, they were terrified. They did not know what to expect when they met their future son. They ended up having an enjoyable day shopping for the new warm clothes Anthony would need for the colder Ohio weather. Anthony moved to his new home the following weekend. The adoption was finalized the following April.

For the first few weeks of placement, Anthony acted like a perfect kid. He wanted to do all of the things he thought he should because he wanted his new home to work. He has since tried to test his parents and has shown his true attitude. Because of his past disappointments, Anthony had given up on ever having a family. He is afraid to get too close and feel vulnerable. Ryan and Robert constantly reassure Anthony that they will not give up on him. “He is learning that this is forever,” said Ryan. Anthony is continually growing with the guidance of his parents and his counselor. He is finding and becoming more comfortable with himself. He truly enjoys having a forever family, but it will take him time to fully trust and love his new parents. Since he came to live with Ryan and Robert, Anthony has had many new experiences. He saw snow for the first time in his life and joined the color guard at school. He is excited that he will be attending the dame school for two consecutive years, something that has not happened since he was 12. Anthony is a very loving, talkative, and outgoing kid. He is athletic and enjoys gymnastics and tumbling. Ryan says Anthony is the bravest person he knows. “I can’t imagine picking up everything and moving with people you barely know,” said Ryan. “I think that takes a lot of courage.” Even with all of the classes, training, and reading Ryan and Robert did before the adoption, it was still tougher than they expected. Although it has been challenging, it has been the most rewarding experience of their lives. “He’s our life,” said Ryan. “It’s not about the two of us. It’s the three of us.”